The Prince slash Oil Heir

If I invite, a boy some night, to cook up some hot enchilada.  Though Spanish rice, is all very nice, my heart belongs to DaDa – Marilyn Monroe

I’m not nicknaming this discarded man Aladdin, because that Aladdin character was a street rat with a monkey-friend. Yuck. Ali Ababawa was a Prince with a pet ellaphant. Yummm. 

In college, I did 3 (three! very long) research papers on how Disney stories blah blah bad roles models for girls blah blah low self-esteem. Whatever. As a kid my favorite Disney princess was Jasmine (there wasn’t that Black one, yet). So thanks to Disney I have a complete and total infatuation with pet tigers & Middle Eastern men.

I am a sucker for foreigners. So when Ali asked me out on a date, I was excited but… wary. I didn’t know this guy at all, so I demanded we go somewhere public. Interestingly he responded, Well if you’re so worried about your safety, why don’t you just bring a friend? Offer accepted. Having a sorority sister with me was a great ice breaker, kinda like Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona without the kinky sex scenes. Definitely the best first date of all time. Beachfront restaurant… candlelit dinner… entire patio to ourselves… flawless. I don’t condone polyamorous relationships (1 penis, 1 menstrual cycle is enough for me), but I must admit 3 is company. The night was a Magic Carpet Ride- but instead of a dirty carpet, we rode Ali’s V8 engine vroom.

A couple days later, I was dining with my dad at a restaurant, and Ali was there. What a small, small world [gulp]. I was reluctant to introduce my dad to Ali: 1 my dad is the most intimidating person you’ll ever lay eyes on and 2 he is also political talk show host. Well, their conversation went right over my head, Don’t ask me, I’m just a girl. All I know is: our meal was ‘taken care of,’ my dad apparently knew some Arabic, and they exchanged contact info. Yup. They exchanged contact info. Not okay. Weeks passed, I got busy & stopped answering Ali’s calls. This prompted Ali to call my father. Hey, it’s Ali. Just wanted to see how you and Ella are doing. My dad was none too pleased. Have you showered lately, because something smells fishy?  That’s all it took, Ali got the boot. Because I know better than to question the man who pays my bills.

Such a shame, I liked Ali. And wherever he is, I’m sure he’s making moves. Meanwhile, I’m back to being Princess Jasmine waiting for a suitor of whom my dad approves.

Lessons:

  • A guy willing to wine and dine you and your girlfriend is a baller. Keep him around.
  • But if a guy doesn’t get your father’s seal of approval, move on. Daddy knows best!
  • The reason I don’t write about great dates I had, because they just aren’t as funny as the train wrecks. And today’s blog proves that.

80 thoughts on “The Prince slash Oil Heir

  1. How awkward to have to introduce him to your dad! This makes me glad that my dad lives two states away and will only meet any of my potential suitors if I explicitly arrange it!

  2. Fifty-something years later and my daddy “STILL” knows best….good for you. Your prince will come along one day and you will know it! ♥ In the meantime, humor & looking from the outside in will help!

  3. I can’t agree with you enough on the fact that good guys don’t give us anything to write about, but give us a bad boy who drops the ball – and it’s on!

    Nice writing – I always enjoy your stories and looking forward to the next.

  4. That’s amazing to have so much value in your dad’s decisions. But what exactly did the guy do wrong in your eyes for you to not want to call him? Was it that he got too close to your dad way to quick?

    • it wasn’t that he did anything bad per say, it was just overkill. If I don’t want to hang out, calling my dad will get you nowhere fast

  5. You had me at “research papers about Disney movies affecting girls self esteem”. I wrote a similar little one about people protesting Legos and claiming they cause eating disorders…it’s an older post somewhere. Everyone needs someone to blame I guess…and although that wasn’t the point of your post, the whole thing was pretty awesome that’s just what caught my attention first🙂

    Side note: in the future if I have kids I’ll stick with letting them watch Jersey Shore rather than The Little Mermaid… Both are supposedly damaging so why not stick with the one that portrays realistic relationships?
    Juuuust kidding lol

    • Bahahah omg Legos cause Eds? How?!?! I don’t see the correlation at all. And I like where your head’s at, I grew up watching Sex and The City, look at me now!

      • The lego thing is in my archives of blog black hole-ness somewhere…I didn’t see the correlation either until some undereducated “specialists” with too much time on their hands enlightened me haha

  6. I don’t get why Ali was given the boot… I guess calling your dad for no other reason than to check on you? I thought maybe they had bonded to the point of chatting regularly. Poor Ali.😦 Yeah, stories about happy relationships that don’t exist anymore tend to be more sad or at least rainbowy than funny. That’s my choice, too.

  7. Hey there…. Will be forwarding links along to my 23 and 20 yo daughters… although I’m sure they’ve got their stuff together cuz after all I was their mom! Looking forward to reading more… :>

  8. I get it about your dad. I have two older brothers who with a blink could kill any and all chance of any dates for me when I was younger.

  9. Disney isn’t the only thing giving women unrealistic expectations about love. According to every TV show on the planet, a first date magically turns into a relationship immediately following the first kiss.

    I was always a sucker for Prince Ali, too. But that might have been because Steve from Full House provided his voice…

  10. Yeah definitely not cool for a guy to be the buddy buddy with your dad so soon. I had a similar experience with a girl who started getting all my friend’s numbers and hanging out with them one on one and asking them questions about me.

  11. Aren’t we all waiting for our Prince Charming??? Disney has truly ruined us girls painting a fantasy that only exists in the Disney movies. I’m not giving up on my happy ending though! lol

  12. Pingback: (Dumb) Shit Guys Say (to Me) « Ella Elle L'A

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