Why I Date Amputees

My very first crush was BJ from Barney. My first human crush was Michael in kindergarten. It may be super creepy to describe how sexy a 5-year-old was, but I’ll try anyway. He was tall, gorgeous, Japanese, and the way he would bend over to take a drink from the water fountain was just heavenly. […]

The Professor

When I was a kid, there was a popular anti-smoking campaign with Debi Austin. I found the ads very disturbing… But  obviously not disturbing enough, because I was a smoker for nine glorious years. I now get a sense of pride, when I see that the anti-smoking ads have re-surfaced, because I quit for the 12th […]

Resisting Temptation

“When in doubt, please pull out don’t put out!”- Ella. I am a complex woman, full of contradictions. I’m a germ freak who won’t share straws/forks, but will make-out with Newport’s finest bar flies. Outrageously flirtatious, unless I’m actually attracted to the guy. And I’m probably the most virginal slut (sluttiest virgin) known to mankind. […]